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    ← Back to Buck Balm | Beard Brothers | Satisfy Your Beard! Buck Balm buckbalm.png BB BUCK Balm.jpg BUCK BALM CAMO.jpg buckbalm.pngBB BUCK Balm.jpgBUCK BALM CAMO.jpg Buck Balm 24.99

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    Excuse Me Miss, My Eyes are up Here | BeardBrothers Blog | Beard Blog | Satisfy Your Beard!

     


    Last week, I took Friday off. This month has been a killer — No clever gif or stupid meme can elicit a single hint of a smile. God I look like a sad foreskin.

    I had to take a breather or else I’ll break down and commit face-harakiri.

    I planned on doing absolutely nothing at all for a full three days, I just wanted to be by my lazy lonesome.

    Fast forward to Sunday night and to the last few precious hours of my sloth-like hiatus, I noticed something in the mirror while I was brushing my teeth.

    Ah, there it is – a three-day old stubble as handsome as the patch of hair on Frodo’s foot.

    Impressive 3 day "beard"Impressive 3 day "beard"

    Impressive 3 day “beard”

    It’s been a while since I was able to get it this long and this got me to thinking: How do my awesome bearded brothers do it? How do they keep their beautiful masts of facial hair sailing bravely across the daily sea of life? How can I make mine not look like a week-old shaved arm pit?

    Drawing motivation from my now testosterone-charged stubble (all 27 pieces of hair), I set off to know more about the basic steps of growing and maintaining a beard.

    “I’m a Grower and a Show-er”

    After picking a beard style, you are now ready to do the all-important first step: Not do anything.

    Get a mullet. Get a Mohawk. Shave your head. Shave your eyebrows. Pull your nose hair. Do whatever the hell you want just make sure to stay off of that blossoming patch of man-hair. You’ll be tempted to mow it down after a few days and again in a couple of few weeks but find the resolve to stick to your game plan. Do not lose sight of that hairy goal. Gandalf shines a white beard light to those who will join him in hirsute nirvana.

    Shaving the best for last

    According to www.beards.org, it is advisable to not shave at all for at least the first four weeks of growth. Throw away that razor and resist the urge to sculpt it as this may result to cutting off more than what you prefer. By delaying any form of illegal (hair) logging in the first four weeks, you’ll have maximum beard length and surface area available when the optimal time to shave comes.

    First Cut is the Deepest

    Congratulations, you made it beyond the four-week struggle. Depending on your gene pool, you now may or may not look like Chewbacca’s long lost nephew. But fret not, Chewy Jr. Because the time to do what you’ve been itching for has arrived: trimming your beard.

    Defining a beard line is the first chapter of our legendary quest for hirsute beauty.

    If you can, try to have it done by a professional barber or stylist (preferably one who has a ton of experience in styling beards). If you’re a DIY guy, make sure to create the appropriate neck and cheek lines for your beard. You don’t want to stray too far from your face’s natural neck and cheek lines otherwise you can end up looking like a 5-year old with fake-looking felt-beard delivering the Gettysburg address.

    Zen and the Art of Beard Maintenance

    What to do with that blossoming garden of a face? Why, face-holticulture the hell out of it of course(if you’re into that)! For starters, you will need a moisturizer that has vitamins in it to keep your beard hairs and skin healthy. You should probably get a good straight razor. Why a straight Razor? Straight razors allow you to create a straighter edge if you like to put an edge where your beard meets your cheeks. Some people like to edge the hair underneath their beard, straight razors are the way to go if shaving your neck. When shopping for one, check out the reviews (if there are any) also try to find a good shave soap. Nice to have. Get a good pair of sharp trimmering scissors for cutting off the split ends. Remember, try not to scrimp on these as they will be your main tools for trimming and styling that wild beard forest. You could save money on trimming and go au naturale which is the most manly of beards in my opinion. If I can get these 27 beard hairs to convince their fellow hairs to grow then I would be well on my way to full beard status.

    Beard Oil click hereBeard Oil click here

    Longer, Thicker, Faster…Bearder! — Beard Brothers | Beard Oil and Beard Care Products

     


    Longer, thicker, faster…Bearder!

    Yes, we’re talking beards. Every man wants a big one, and every woman wants to be with a man who has a big one. But how do you get it? Here’s some tips our old friend science offers up.

    Summer. Beards grow quicker in it. Many reasons have been proffered, such as increased blood flow/circulation due to the heat or that the extra beer drunk to keep one cool increases the manliness in your veins and thusly propels said hair to procreate in splendour.

    Sex. Yes, science is a wonderful thing, it gives you more reasons to wink, wink, nudge, nudge at a female counterpart. Beyond normal population needs, it also has the benefit of inducing increased hairiness. It is thought that just the thought can stimulate follicles and lead to more lustrous chin manes.

    5 stages growing a beard5 stages growing a beard

    Trimming. This may sound counterproductive, but follow me. When you prune a shrubbery, it will often fruit more. This is because the dead ends sucking up that precious nutrients have been lopped off and only healthy ends are left to reap the rewards. Similarly, your beard needs to be trimmed to get rid of the hangers-on-nerers and promote growth. But just be sure not to over trim the bush, else you err on the side of unmanly.

    Massage. Massage is said to stimulate the blood, the follicles and also the skin to rejuvenate itself and promote growth of new healthier particles. When massaging, use a quality beard oil to soothe the skin and help with ease the fricton when massaging and to help control the wild hairs. Stroking one’s own beard is also excellent practice – it helps men think, it looks awesome and particular if you want to move into either an evil mastermind or a therapist role in life, it’ll help show off your prowess to everyone in the room.

    Being a carnivore. Your parents probably told you to eat your carrots to help see better in the dark. Total codswallop. And if you eat your crusts you’d get curly hair. Bulldust! What about eat more meat to be more manly? Nope? Bastards! Whilst scientifically speaking protein helps build muscle, no one cares. What you want to know is that eating more meat, particularly jerkied or barbecued makes you a manlier man. But how you ask? Simple. That’s how.

    Beer, rum, bourbon and whiskey. All together. Did you know if you have a shot of rum and a shot of bourbon in one it is called an angry pirate? It also makes weakling hurl. Only real men can stomach it, and a few women… Pirates were renowned for drinking rum – it kept the mermaids attractive and visible. Beer is a known for its aperitif qualities, and whiskey is best kept in a jar-o. But what does any of that have to do with beards? Um Blackbeard. Bluebeard. Long John Silverbeard? Enough said.

    So if you want a decent beard so you can show your face around other men. Drink heavily, have rampant fantasies, live during Summer time some of the time, trim it a little, give it a rub down with beard oil every so often and eat meat!

     

    Life hack: 10 reasons you must Grow a Beard — Beard Brothers | Beard Oil and Beard Care Products

     

    Growing a beard is a very serious decision. You can’t just start growing it because you want to. Beard is a very philosophical question and it not only requires great attention but puts great responsibility on your shoulders (sorry – chin). However, if you are ready to become a true man and grow wisdom on your face, you better get a decent reason for that. Having problems finding one? How about we give you ten. Sit down, relax and take it serious. (Warning! The following reasons might turn you into a real man!)

    beards make your badassbeards make your badass

    1. Beard is a first step for every male to actually become a man. You may lift heavy weights and be a genius but without beard you are not allowed to use the word “manly” and your name in the same sentence. Sorry – that’s the cruel rule of the Beard World. Ok, now pull yourself together, free your mind and make it grow. In a few months you will become a real killing machine who can make people disappear with a brief look. Do you know why Chuck Norris has been wearing a beard for so many years? Because beard is his power (and probably because he has another fist hidden in his beard!). It is very unlikely that you will get one even with the coolest beard in the world because no one can compete with Chuck, but now you can expect people to give you free coffee, their lunch money and whatever you think will look better on you. Oh, and remember to be careful with the words “This is Sparta!” Growing a beard turns them into a dangerous weapon.

    beards attract beautiful womenbeards attract beautiful women

    2. Nicely maintained and big beards work like women magnets. Well, women sure have their own powers but they can’t match with the beards. What is that you say? You don’t think that the reason number 2 is true? You are either not serious about growing a beard or too young to handle its power. You wouldn’t even believe how many times I have had to tell women who stared at my beard “Hey, woman! My eyes are up here!”? Remember – this magnet never fails.

    beards are good for sleddingbeards are good for sledding

    3. So, it’s winter time and you do not know how to ski? Not a problem. All you have to have is a well grown beard. The rest will come naturally. Beards are great for sledding from snowy hills in winter or for the grassy ones in summer. Your friend is late for work? Why don’t you give him a ride or, should I say, a beard-ride. Beard taxi: travel with comfort.

    beards make you smartbeards make you smart

    4. Beards make people smarter and that’s the only truth you need to know. With a beard on your face everybody will think that you are a professor. You do not even need to open your mouth. Just make sure that the beard covers the CCC (Cheek- Cheek -Chin). Do you know Leo Tolstoy? Yes, the one who wrote War and Peace. Do you ever wonder how he could finish 4 books of the War and Peace saga so quickly? The answer to your question grows right under your nose. Beard is wisdom. Just make sure you remember that.

    beards make you a leaderbeards make you a leader

    5. Fear no more! The beard is here to save your life! This is one of the phrases you should memorize for all the possible expressions of nature’s bad mood. It’s ok to admit that you knew nothing about the saving powers of the beard. Tsunami, earthquakes or Godzilla… they all mean nothing when a bearded man is nearby, especially, when this bearded man is you. You can let people hold on to your beard so they won’t be taken away by tornado or let them hide inside your beard until the storm settles down or Godzilla goes away. Don’t worry – the creature won’t touch you. Beard is the only thing Godzilla is truly afraid of. Checked it myself. Twice.

    beard disguisebeard disguise

    6. Hey, pal! Do you remember the reason #2? You’d better say YES because if you can’t handle the woman magnet and situation becomes too critical, you can always use another great thing that beards can do. Beard is a perfect disguise for any life situation. Need to hide from the crowd? Beard disguise. Someone is chasing you? Beard disguise. Need to take sunbathes? Beard disguise. Got bored? Beard disguise. This one is limited only with your imagination. So, go and experiment!

    beards keep you warmbeards keep you warm

    7. Have you ever paid attention to men who live in cold countries? Did you notice that there was something special about them? Yes, right – they all had gorgeous beards on their faces and still have. Do you know why they wear beards? Beside the first 6 reasons, of course. Yes, my friend – beards make them warm and comfortable. You can get outside in the most severe and cold night when it’s 40 below 0 (by Mr. Celsius, of course) in your underwear only and it would feel like a walk in the park as long as you have a beard. Moreover, if you make it big enough, you can try your luck at the mountain rescue team. Your beard will always keep the people around it warm and will save lives. True story.

    beards can be used as sailsbeards can be used as sails

    8. I will just leave it here. This reason pretty much speaks for itself. For successful sailing all you need is a beard. Or two, if you sail with a friend. The more – the merrier. Now we know why pirates had beards.

    beards hide thingsbeards hide things

    9. In order to become a master of your beard, you will have to walk a very long path. But if you do – the reward will be awesome. We all have secrets but only a few of us can keep them safe, mostly because we forget our secrets at home and make ourselves vulnerable. With the Beard that won’t happen because beards can keep secrets. By secrets I mean pretty much everything: you have photos where you are young and have no beard? Put them in your beard. There is a dead body at your hotel room? Hide it in your beard. Forgot to take out the garbage? Well, go and do it now – beard is not a place for dirty stuff!

    Also, beards are great when you go camping or traveling. You can hide a few snacks for later or pack for weeks ahead cause beard can handle everything. Back in the days criminals used to traffic weapons and drugs in their beards but after security started checking facial hair for any suspicious substances, their game was over. Though, the bearded men of the planet Earth are still fighting for their rights. Otherwise, how can authorities explain the fact that touching a man’s beard in public by a total stranger is OK, but touching woman’s breast is not? Sounds like sexism to me.

    beard smoke signalsbeard smoke signals

    10. Beards are one of the most social elements in the whole world. Before the Facebook came in, beards kept people together for ages. Starting from the ancient times people used beards to send messages. They formed beard in various smoke letters and symbols and made the magic happen. Now the true art of beard smoke signals is forgotten by the shaved ones, but it comes to every man who starts growing a beard. So, whenever a zombie apocalypse becomes a real deal and there is no communication between people, beards will save the world. Mark my words!

    -Beardamaniac

    The Ever Changing Irresistible Beard | BeardBrothers Blog | Beard Blog | Satisfy Your Beard!

     

    To say that a beard is the part and parcel of a man’s life is an understatement. It is a man’s perception of a beard that makes him maintain it or remove it. Over the years, that very perception has seen so many versions that one might think someone ought to come up with a new term apart from ‘beard’.

    The definition of beard fashion has changed. Right from the moustache to full grown facial hair, there are a hundred different ways a hair stylist can trim your beard to make it look unique and comforting as per your convenience. The formal countenance is enhanced with the proper beard.

    Recently, Hugh Jackman displayed his bushy beard before he went bald. It became a trend, which is still evolving worldwide with minor modifications; the shaven head definitely a thumbs up in that evolution line. Indian veteran actor Amitabh Bachchan’s French cut still makes an imposing impression with his tall demeanour.

    It is open knowledge that Goatee is the French’s brother with a shaved head. Johnny Depp and Robert Downy Jr. have experimented their fair share in these two kinds of beards styles.

    People who prefer to keep full grown facial hair with the decent moustache need to keep two things in mind. The length of the hair on your head in comparison to the length of your beard matters and so does the moustache. So try different combinations and see which combination works best for you.

    You can feel free to dye your beard if you aren’t quite ready to accept any gray hairs that might sprout up. Make sure that color of the dye matches with the color the hair on your head. In a recent survey, physiologists confirmed women rated men with shaved beards higher than men with beards. Where were they getting these women from?!

    It also says that men look more aggressive and older when they have a beard than when they are completely shaved. And among the male counterparts, beard commands a sense of respect and goodwill. What woman wouldn’t want these characteristics in their male partner? These statistics aren’t making much sense.

    The universal viewpoint on beards may differ but it really doesn’t matter what other people think. It’s a person choice where or not a man decides to wear a beard. Just keep in mind that your partner kissing those lips so they will have to rub against your beard at times. Keep your beard soft and touchable with beard brothers beard oil. The power of having a comfortable beard is such that it helps your partner want to feel your facial hair but if you are out looking for someone to meet, the beard is always a good conversation starter.

    After all, beard isn’t the only tuft of hair on your body now.

     

    BeardBrothers Blog | Beard Blog | Satisfy Your Beard!

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    Beard Brothers | Beard Oil, Beard Care Products and Men’s Grooming Products – If you have a beard then you are a BeardBrother. – Satisfy the Beard

    October 12, 2015 The Ever Changing Irresistible Beard

    by Beardacuda in


    Irresistible beardIrresistible beard Irresistible beardIrresistible beard

    o say that a beard is the part and parcel of a man’s life is an understatement. It is a man’s perception of a beard that makes him maintain it or remove it. Over the years…

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    October 5, 2015 Should I Shampoo My Beard?

    by Beardacuda in ,


    Having a beard is a sign—perhaps the sign—of being the most manly of men. Using Herbal Essences is a sign of being the most feminine of women. Unless, of course, we’re talking about our beards.Of course, I’m hardly making the recommendation that you

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    January 12, 2015 Beards: The Power to Change History

    by Beardacuda in


    Lots of people would say that the beard is highly overrated. Well, they can think what they want to think. We, the honorable brotherhood of beards or BeardBrothers, do not touch those who refuse to share our beliefs (unless of course, ….

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    December 14, 2014 The 12 Beards of Christmas

    by Beardacuda in


    Christmas is a perfect time for crime. As long as you are dressed like Santa Claus, no one will suspect you in doing something wrong. Through the past few years the number of Santa frauds has reached the highest level possible that, of course, does not make…

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    December 6, 2014 The 5 Most Underrated Celebrity Beards

    by Beardacuda in


    Beards are, without a doubt, coming back to the fore front in the Celebrity Arena.

    Because, well, beards are just better, aren’t they. They protect you from bad reviews, haters and all possible negativity when you’re in the limelight. (Unless you’re Russell Crowe. Nothing can…

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    November 23, 2014 30 Unbelievable Facts About Beards That Every Beard Enthusiast Must Know

    by Beardacuda in


    Beard factsBeard facts Beard factsBeard facts

    There are things our beards can do that are weird and wonderful.

    They go beyond the scope of what any non-bearded man may ever even realise. In fact, there are so many things our beards can do – it’s impossible to list them all.

    So, we’ve had a good word with our friends over at the IBS (Institute of Beard Sciences, not Irritable Bowel Syndrome) to see if they could….

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    Unbeardlievable, I Mustache You a Question! | BeardBrothers Blog | Beard Blog | Satisfy Your Beard!

     


    Ever noticed how there seems to be far more things for moustaches than beards? Yeah, I’m not a fan of it either. Okay, I will cop to owning some of those moustache pendant necklaces. But they were $2 for a pack of three and it was like an anti-purchase to stop the alternativos from having it, honest…

    Beard BabyBeard Baby

    My freshest baked cousin has been plastered all over Facebook with one of those moustache dummies, but what about a beard dummy?

    They do exist!

    They just seem to be lesser known, so I’m here to help remedy this.

    Help make your baby better by getting them a bearded pacifier!

    beard necklacebeard necklace

    And for those aforementioned moustache jewelry wearers, we shall redeem ourselves with these options. It is still slim pickings for the beard loving among us in terms of jewelry options, but by spreading the word the demand will increase, as will the supply.

    For beard pendants, check out Zazzle and for rings, there’s a decent option at Artfire to show your beard preference in silver form.

    beard ringbeard ring

    Let’s not forget Lego. We all grew up on these, whether it was chewing on them when we were small and couldn’t build yet. Or just playing with them randomly whilst conspiring to leave them lying around in high traffic areas for someone to step on them with bare feet and curse more than a pirate for 10 minutes straight.

    lego Gandalflego Gandalf

    The one problem though, very few Lego men had facial hair. Here’s some options to improve your child’s Lego experiences from okay to super bad ass. With some of the recent movie and game tie-in Lego sets there have been even some super sweet 3D beards released.

    Who knew Gandalf could be any cooler!? Or if you’re more a Marvel comics fan, what about getting one of The Mandarin releases? They have detachable beards. Kinda excited.

    pirate lego beardpirate lego beard

    Or just find a pirate lego man, they all seem to have painted on beards. Sure, not as fun as the 3d ones, but definitely more safe for pets, babies and stupid people so that they won’t chew and swallow them.

    And for all you tea, coffee, soup, alcohol in mug drinkers, here’s some options for you too. No more do you have to settle for a fake moustache on a ceramic look. Now you can have a fake beard on a ceramic look, for probably double the price as it is more indie.

    beard mugbeard mugabe beard mugabe beard mug

    Or you could always go for the honest Abe look.

    One of the pioneers of the beard-only manliness.

    Making manly men look slightly effeminate with this style of cup, but at least it gives you extra beard where you need it most – while battling the frothiness of a half-strength, decaf, weak-made mocha macchiato with 3 equals on lite soy milk.

    Stay manly you wussy coffee drinking hipsters.

     

    Flipping the Beard — Beard Brothers | Beard Oil and Beard Care Products

     


    Lincoln, Tolstoy, Santa Claus, Marx, Gandalf, Che Guevarra, King Leonidas, Jesus, Chuck Norris.

    Yes, I know you know where I’m going with this. And I also know that you have your own favorite hirsute-face hero.

    Before we go debating though about who’s the beardest of them all, read on and dedicate a lousy five minutes to know more about man’s facial hair phenomenon.

    THIS IS SPARTAAA!!

    Before Leonidas kicks my puny, shaven face to the bottom of the dark Spartan pit, a quick rundown of the different types of face carpets is in order:

    Beard StylesBeard Styles

    image from http://learnbydiagram.blogspot.com/2011/09/learn-about-facial-hair-styling.html

    “Mommy, what are beards and where do they come from?”

    In his book “The Descent of a Man and Selection in Relation to Sex, Darwin claimed that “Sexual Selection” has something to do with the evolution of beards. But what exactly is “Sexual Selection”? More importantly, did Darwin grow his beard after discovering it or was it vice-versa? Will I have a better chance of being sexually-selected by my hot officemate if I had a beard? This I have to know now!

    Sexual Selection is a part of the natural selection process (also by Darwin) where some individuals out-reproduce others because they are better at securing mates.

    A lion with a darker and fuller mane will likely have a better chance of being selected as a mate when compared to another lion whose mane is as thick as Howie Mandel’s soul patch. A peacock with a more intricate and colourful tail feather is Ryan Gosling abs to a peahen’s eyes. On the other hand, male species whose looks seem to be stuck in a state of infinite-puberty (read: underdeveloped) will have a smaller chance of sexual congress whenever challenged or compared with an alpha male.

    To beard or not to beard

    Modern biologists still subscribe to Darwin’s dogma about the role of sexual selection in the evolution of man’s beard by declaring that there is evidence that a majority of females find men with beards more attractive than his bald-faced counterparts.

    But before we proceed to throwing our shaving accessories away because of this new-found knowledge, a study published by the Royal Society journal Biology Letters tells us that a Face + Beard = Win formula is not always true. Thank heavens. God knows I can only grow tangled nose hairs. Damn you genes.

    According to the study:

    “Women and men judged heavy stubble and full beards more attractive when presented in treatments where beards were rare than when they were common, with intermediate preferences when intermediate frequencies of beardedness were presented. Likewise, clean-shaven faces were least attractive when clean-shaven faces were most common and more attractive when rare. This pattern in preferences is consistent with negative frequency-dependent selection.”

    Simply put, the majority of votes will go to the person whose features are unique in a certain group.

    This means that to an Amish girl, my zero-hair-follicle face has a chance of being as drool-worthy as Channing Tatum’s. Well, at least when I’m thrown in a group of her Honest Abe-looking friends. Now I know that God is just.

    But friends, I’ll be honest. I’m a fan of beards. To me it’s a snapshot of a man’s rawness and grit, a hardened alpha-male aura if you will. That unwieldy mess of hairs (or trimmed, depends on your preference) probably captures the manliest “I’m a man!” moment of a guy’s life.

    Just ask Leonidas. Or the Duck Dynasty clan.

    If I could, I would — grow a beard like a true man should.

     

    Childhood Ruined — Beard Brothers | Beard Oil and Beard Care Products

    Growing up, you get lied to. A lot.

    There’s the Tooth Fairy lie, but at least you get money.

    The Easter Bunny, but you get chocolate.

    Then there’s Santa. Sure you get presents, but he’s the most imitated one out of the long list of childhood falsities. And he can be a deep seeded cause of a truly horrible affliction. Pogonophobia.

    No, that isn’t the fear of pogos.

    Or of the 90s trading/collectibles known as pogs.

    pogs.jpgpogs.jpg

    It’s the fear of beards!

    Many a child has been deeply, and near permanently scarred with a tight gripping pogonophobia that not only impacts their daily lives and where they can or can’t go, but also their own body image.

    Males in particular are worse off, as they have to battle daily the evil stubble that threatens to derail their very clean shaven existence.

    And for women, they can be forced to settle for lesser males who have never even grown the outline of a beard or mustache.

    Furthermore, society and its harsh views of what is or isn’t a real issue doesn’t recognize pogonophobia properly, and those struggling with this life shattering disease, will often be shunned or mocked.

    Santa BeardSanta Beard

    This is no plea for coin, beard brothers and sisters, but a plea for understanding.

    Next time someone sees your champion chinhairs and winces, it may not be due to the large piece of pizza growing mold, nestled in the heart of your bulbous beard, but due to an unfortunate Santa-related incident as a child when they pulled on the snowy white fakery and the rubber band snapped off, giving them whiplash to their temple.

    But, you needn’t think you must hide your joyous jaw feathers. No, you can be the change that the world needs.

    Go up to one of these poor souls and let them touch your full fuzz. Let them stroke it, pat it and know it is not dangerous. Tell them about the time you were alone, a booming thunderstorm was erupting outside and your beard kept you warm, safe and comforted.

    Let them talk to your beard, and hear it brush a whisper back, to help them heal from the wounds so they too can live a hairier life.

    And maybe, just maybe, the next time they see a Santa with a fake beard, instead of being afraid, they will give a little tug on his beard and speak soft, kind words to his beard. As you should too…there, there you fuzzy, fluffy white forest of jolly whiskers.