Ever noticed how there seems to be far more things for moustaches than beards? Yeah, I’m not a fan of it either. Okay, I will cop to owning some of those moustache pendant necklaces. But they were $2 for a pack of three and it was like an anti-purchase to stop the alternativos from having it, honest…
My freshest baked cousin has been plastered all over Facebook with one of those moustache dummies, but what about a beard dummy?
They do exist!
They just seem to be lesser known, so I’m here to help remedy this.
Help make your baby better by getting them a bearded pacifier!
And for those aforementioned moustache jewelry wearers, we shall redeem ourselves with these options. It is still slim pickings for the beard loving among us in terms of jewelry options, but by spreading the word the demand will increase, as will the supply.
Let’s not forget Lego. We all grew up on these, whether it was chewing on them when we were small and couldn’t build yet. Or just playing with them randomly whilst conspiring to leave them lying around in high traffic areas for someone to step on them with bare feet and curse more than a pirate for 10 minutes straight.
The one problem though, very few Lego men had facial hair. Here’s some options to improve your child’s Lego experiences from okay to super bad ass. With some of the recent movie and game tie-in Lego sets there have been even some super sweet 3D beards released.
Who knew Gandalf could be any cooler!? Or if you’re more a Marvel comics fan, what about getting one of The Mandarin releases? They have detachable beards. Kinda excited.
Or just find a pirate lego man, they all seem to have painted on beards. Sure, not as fun as the 3d ones, but definitely more safe for pets, babies and stupid people so that they won’t chew and swallow them.
And for all you tea, coffee, soup, alcohol in mug drinkers, here’s some options for you too. No more do you have to settle for a fake moustache on a ceramic look. Now you can have a fake beard on a ceramic look, for probably double the price as it is more indie.
Or you could always go for the honest Abe look.
One of the pioneers of the beard-only manliness.
Making manly men look slightly effeminate with this style of cup, but at least it gives you extra beard where you need it most – while battling the frothiness of a half-strength, decaf, weak-made mocha macchiato with 3 equals on lite soy milk.
Stay manly you wussy coffee drinking hipsters.