In general, fake beards are bad. Evil almost. They represent what is unholy and wrong with the world. Except where they offer insight and inspiration to greater levels of beardom.
Ebay in particular seems to be sprouting some awesome examples of manly majesty to mimic. Here’s some of the top picks.
While a style mostly sported by wise sages, a younger male could surely sport this if they were willing to take the proper care and time to cultivate it.
Sans moustache, would give it a more current look.
Or add long head hair for an even wiser style.
But be warned, you may be attacked on sight if you have black hair as you will look more like a d-grade movie villain than someone to take fatherly advice and guidance from.
For the ultimate in overgrown tripping hazards, try your hand at this one.
While it may be advertised as the world’s longest beard, that is merely a challenge for those dedicated to their craft. Are you manly enough to accept it?
Note if you are prone to gingerbeard you may want to start stocking up on hair dye if you wish to truly achieve greatness with this project.
And maybe fertilizer.
Definite ly not for the type who give up when the growing gets tough.
Not all inspiration is about length. Some is about style and pizzazz. And what screams that more than finger-waves in a beard? (Or fingerling waves as I thought they were first off, but turns out that potatoes don’t get curled into waves.)
The awesomeness is in the symmetry between head and chin for sure.
This look, if nothing else, will bond you with your lady friends and they can share curling tips and tricks with you. You may even find a new calling as the next Vidal Sassoon.
But if curls are what you really want, then want no more. This is the perfect blend of curls, waves and thick bushiness that only bushrangers used to prance about with, in the bad old days, which were the good old days for some.
The covering of the mouth also makes this perfect for anyone prone to cold sores, bad breath or when you have to wear braces as an adult because your parents were poor, lazy or uncaring.
When combined with the head hair this will also help cover up other shameful things, such as hickeys from the unattractive dud you picked up on Friday, a poor choice in judgement like a face tattoo you got when drunk or a really huge pimple hanging out on your neck that has started talking to you in the morning.
Who knew Ebay could do so much good for beards everywhere. Stay the course!